I'm in... love the first words of a sentence that I've never said use a thread to tie the parts of a broken heart that never mends as I've bled I dread the whole process, watch it till it ends If it ends to begin then when did I lose my innocence? bend but never break, brake but still collide I've seen the world spin out of control we all fall inside then pretend like this is what we meant all along we all seem to fall then claim this is where we belong I'm back from the bottom with my heart on my sleeve while my veins and arteries bleed with no way to impede I see it rain from me, till it seems to fill up thee entire sea try to part it, but my heart is, still a critical piece an illiterate read, I cling to this language of love freed from the ball and chain all the same living is not enough would I rather be bound or free, accompanied or all alone all the thrones and all the hopes of love something i do not know hook: broken hearts in the building right now put your hands in the air if you're feeling down I can't explain an emotion that I've never felt can't tell the difference between the ocean and a dry well I fell so hard that I got scrapes on my hands and knees start to wonder if my heart is really even a part of me hard to see when the dark encircles like a pack of wolves odyssey but I can hear the howl echo through the woods I can see the glint of the fangs as they come in to gore some scars never heal, heart all ripped and torn heart on my sleeve something i shoulda never worn was this the plan set out for me before i was born? crying out to God, like can you hear me through this storm I gave my everything and it felt like nothing, I was never warned that the cold in me could be used to turn away the warm now I war in the core, fatalities all I ever score they say if you die for true love you've been martyred I never knew true love i'm still back where i started They keep telling me i'm a victim of jealousy b ut wont tell me why the hell no one is jealous of me I broke from the jail just to be free but freely express that I can't be me so what you see isn't what you get you understand but don't get it what's the plan? I can't grip it my fingers missing the conviction, listen, this is what I'm trying to say what I write down everyday laconic, I'm never on display but I've got to fight got to find a way my mind is a weight, try to pull it towards the exit look forward to when my past doesn't seem so misdirected heard that to love is to let go, but I never let it heard you say "I love you, say it back", but i never said it. (and i regret it) broken hearts in the building right now may not know what love is but we gonna find out

look, on the minimum I gotta be trendy and rich the epitome of an entity that stands out of the mix i have no niche except for that i have no niche and I'll never be nixed a dream that wont end with a pinch tricks are for kids and those who never grow up I'm lost in forever pull the trigger watch me blow up I am the one that you stare at when you stare at the mirror I see you more clear than you can see me right here you thought i was just a reflection but I'm so much more i am you- how you perceive yourself from skin to the core at the minimum i'm a symptom of vanity maximum i'm the exact sum of whats wrong with humanity the man in me is searching for someone that sings the same tune we're all humming the same song from a different point of view some worse than others but we're all sisters and brothers choir sings for the lovers but the rhymes ring with the truth And I can see your face on my cell phone trace you back to the position that you fell from how come the outcome is outright uncertainty howd we get from here to there, now it's all a blur to me the words we see written on this paper are smearing from tears that drip down from eye's that aren't clearing been living life looking through the grey of the fog trying to fight your way back to where things went wrong same songs play on everybody’s playlist I see your trigger happy life has gotten aimless blame it on boring nights and half caring friends I blame it on empty dreams and an indifference to wins when the wind isn't chilly life seems really pretty when its gusty we feel rusty in this long lost city hearing sirens as we're driven home from another loss speeding through these streets with no concern for time lost I've got one hand on the wheel and one eye on the speedometer pedal to the floor while i ponder if it's my fault or hers at the minimum you need more than blood in your veins to be alive, when you realize we all want the same things at some point we all feel the same pangs of pain we all fiend for whats fake and love the mundane at the minimum i wanted to be more than that but now I'm speeding off into the night, no looking back

what a frustrating life i see the glow of your face lit by a cell phone light with a grimace on your lips and your eyes closed tight like your exasperated, or maybe the screens just too bright Silly girl who grew up and had trouble exiting the teens cause life was more trouble than you were raised to believe high school probably coulda been the prom queen but you weren't a strait A student or on the cheerleading team you were that awkward girl in the high school youth group who's parents still made wear a 1 piece swimsuit kinda rebellious but really nothing like your friends who use school as an excuse to rule the weekends you have too few drinks, and too much ambition to capture the hearts of these young men in attendance and yet for no reason you still want their attention cell phone buzzes and life backs up into the distance like why's it all worthless I can't find my purpose Created as a work of art, no tattoos but you got one anyway, so taboo on your shoulder, it says "the world couldn't hold me" an interesting thing to proclaim so boldly you feel like the only girl at your college who still is lost without a plan and unpolished but compared to you girls would get demolished you said you wouldn't get addicted, still you seek solace plus you are close to overdosing on academic repetition life is like a game that amounts to nothing, exhibition but still you sit and listen wait for a chance to make a difference the one race you want to lose, dread heading towards the finish dread everything within like these feelings shouldn't feel don't understand emotions or the need for something real The world couldn't hold you, but you still want someone to try afraid to look at the bright outside of your cellphone light you only made one mistake, you chose not to hope you want attention and want respect, but couldn't get both life goes in directions that we could never know live fast die young, live slow take time to grow so when age starts showing early your disgusted look back on life all the times that you've adjusted beautiful girls never really lose their beauty because when the outside fades inside their still pretty and you're sitting thinking, what parts make sense setting fire to the rain only burnt those stuck in the ditch if there's a life outside of you, then there's reason to live if we're given desires, there must be something to fulfill them when nothing else ever did when no one else ever did

High school youth group, 2007 you started to wonder if there's such thing as heaven made fun of when you put forth the question so you debate it in your bed when the silence sets in it can't be possible that there is such a place who would let these hypocrites in through the gates if jesus lets them in but doesn't let me depsite all the good i've done but i didn't believe then I'm fine with the opposite, check out what other option is headed to where the hottest is, below where the bottom is they say i can't see, need an optometrist They search for the bad in me and don't point out the obvious I can't tell if these people feel for me, or just act like it they claim to be blessed but complain about how bad life is that isn't right it's, just the opposite of what i want I'm waiting for deliverance, what if it never comes? everything changed when the lump in her chest turns into a bald head she can't help but caress questions that she asked no one could ever address like letters never reached the one who could answer em best romans 8:28 seemed more like a false incentive when friends seem too short on time to visit the clinic when facebook likes, and get well soon balloons don't really quell the light storm inside that rises to a monsoon hours of bible studies don't seem so beneficial when her status is elevated from stable to critical when parents are hysterical, families getting called in and they start to form plans making funeral preparations a hospital room starts to feel more like a life sentence and every day you wonder if your life might end, if the cancer spreads any farther they'll lose a wife and a daughter left to wonder if there's such thing as a heavenly father man, and it's such a struggle to understand it hard not to panic when you look at life and don't think you'll manage like jesus christ i really wish i had a better life how come you never answer my questions how come this girl isn't my wife how come i have to work for money just to spend it right away good things in life come but never seem stay am I to good for God? am i safe without grace I see people proclaim your name but never see change So I feel more comfortable living in my mistakes and never think beyond myself and the choices i've made still I feel taken away, as the stars blink down at earth laughing at me, laughing at God, claiming i still deserve worth what's worse, the existence of God and evil or the absence of God and still the existence of evil I laughed at God and he wrapped me in his scarred marred arms told me my flaws were not failures and I would come to no harm

23 years of ridiculous privileges more money in my pocket then some Ugandan villages am I beyond the illusion to see the premise of a nemesis we got children killing children with no healing for their illnesses we care more about feeling feelings than ever helping them we want the cross to be close, so we keep it on our necklaces recklessness necessities of living with no remedy the sin in me is the sin in you that is simply inflicting me till in infinity and beyond we still trying to feel that buzz from the booze, to the blunts, to the pews in the front with our hands raised high to the rafters of the church But if I'm honest half the reason I'm at church is to network why do I feel blessed on the days off and never when I work? maybe I only feel blessed when I choose to and only worship when I'm hurt do I use God as crutch to get me past a day full of nerves then have the nerve to turn my back to where his name is never heard carry on my wayward son, they'll be peace when you are done lay your weary head to rest, don't cry any more no more sore backs with open wounds been to hell in back got all the burn marks to prove that hell is really hotter than the core of the sun is the son really coming back before the earths time is done are we really done confessin' when we never learn the lessons we just go to impress them then oppress when we're stressin to affect them till they submit to reflection and label us as ridiculous meticulous hypocrites who inflict them with false benefits like lunatics to get them to approvin' with a God they've never seen that's made ludicrous by who is this celebrities on a screen and we obscenely judge them and yell at others to love them while we secretly crushing on the same one's there lusting and jealousy is a combustion that explodes when it's time and suddenly we find ourselves on the opposite sideline like beyond the illusion is the conclusion that we don't know what we're doing either we're winning or losing or misconstruin' the congruence watch the glue as it's used to fix the loose screws in the model of the gospel as we push it down the throats of the hostile Jesus ate dinner with the sinners, but he never sinned most of us as christians desire to do the same work as him Hungrie, but I recognize more than the hunger within eat with sinners? I am the sinner, I am the one that is bent I am not the one that was sent to redeem and refine who took sin on his back and carried it up to be crucified I may try to emulate he who is great but I am not he, I am the fakest of fakes what If i don't show mercy to others through all that they need? he said what you do to the least of these you've done to me

When all you start to see is shooting stars you're spending way too much time at bars in my gettaway car with a laptop and a guitar speakers blown listening to kendrick lamar good kid hanging with a girl thats mad pretty from the bread state where it always stays mad windy tornado alley and I gladly take you for a spin I drown in your frown and I swim with your grin let's do it again, life is an adventure sometimes adventures can leave bruises and splinters memories get washed away but I'll always remember December nights that are way too hot to be winter the listener can take that however they'd like most men spend to much time trying to find a dime most are dime's a dozen with nobody to love em welcome to the world where your worth isn't up for discussion we're all rushing for consumption, soon to be consumed Everything's not about you you you but the nights still got lights like the stars and the moon so the night is like the day with all the things we could do ever get that lost feeling when you're made to leave If you only get what you want you forget what you need my compulsions showed me what i need to be free Never felt strong till I realized how I was weak Never felt greater love than that of my savior with life like a mist it disappears in a vapor each moment will vanish got take time to savor only set sail on my dreams with God as my anchor dont want to go to sleep then dont want to awake hate to live life so fast that it becomes too late to visit every village on every continent on earth to work in the dirt and exert all of my worth I've seen more beautiful people on these global trips then anywhere else that i've ever been And I swear their smile take a crocadile out the nile turn his hard scales soft make em act less wild but the smile was directed at the face of child who struggled his whole life to feel worthwhile why sit here in denial with my hand gripping this glass when life was given to me while others aren't given a chance questions I have to ask, when the days turn to years I don't have to go home but i can't stay here probably have to call a taxi when live becomes taxing and find some answers to the questions i've been asking

both of my grandma's played the piano and my parents did too but i'm not very good at the piano and neither are you it's the same key's we try to hit but miss the rhythms same notes we try to practice till we lose interest most of the time music inspires something regal but we aren't working a harmony or reading from a hymnal it was amazing grace, how sweet the sound I can't fail to say how often that i hear it now I reminisces of how i caught a glimpse through a telescope Of a girl I'd never known, looks like an adventure though everything so foreign, switch up the language they say lost love is the result of all anguish I haven't lost much love so I don't know what pain is I give up to easy, girl, I never been blameless but, bet i never give up on you if you think you ain't worth it know that's too untrue I fell for you so dangerous, like jumping out a plane with a parachute james bond baby, without the casino still feeling royal if the skyfalls like i fall hope we both land right beside you your inside all my dreams just like inception, talking life is like a movie but we aren't watching netflix I could binge watch this sunset in till there's no suns left and your silhouette against the set has me losing my breath It's an adventure whenever i'm with ya adv ent ure you and me love stories are fictions and mostly non existent most of these gold rings can be slipped off in an instant but harry didn't give Elaine a ring in a box he said i'll spend all my time with you, gave her a watch and Vern loved Myrna , knew that she was his girl so they got engaged right there in the hospital Faith has no limits, he'll tell you if you ask him that legs may lose their strength but love cannot be handicapped and that's real love, complete and whole marriage between bride and groom that'll never be annulled I don't know if that's something we'll ever achieve but i'm willing to take my chances if it's you and me life could be an excellent escapade they smile through their fangs like we're wading in the everglades they move on from girl to guy, switch it up every other night but when I look at you it's like, why would i ever want that life